he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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