Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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