it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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