I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
