well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i will never coherently bang her
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
