My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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