Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
