He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
