How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
