The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize