READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
