1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
