Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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