I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
