Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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