p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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