No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
