It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
