Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize