nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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