i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
