How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize