If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
