Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
