I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
