on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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