whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
