I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
