I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
