I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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