Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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