i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
