I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
