I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
