You smell like stripper and shame
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
