That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
