Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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