question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
