the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
