does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize