It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
