If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
