oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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