I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize