Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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