Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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