i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
