Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
