All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
