i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You were trust falling into bushes
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
