we have officially lost it.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
