They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
