My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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