Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
