So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She even gives head with a lisp.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
