i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We left an ass print on the piano.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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