Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
