Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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