I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
