Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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