You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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