Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
