I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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